Welcome to the sixth edition of the unimaginably brilliant piece Mouth of the Customer. Whereupon we quoteth what thy collective mouth hath spake in interactions with thou busineth community. Amen.
"...you can paint me black, brown, yellow or as purple as an Oompa Loompa and i betcha i can STILL get service. it's called basic human interaction. this woman (Chris Rock's mom) was so full of piss and vinegar that she (admittedly) couldn't even muster enough of a smile or eye contact to prompt a response from nary one in that entire establishment. she is a healthy, set for life, grown ass woman who really oughtta have better sense. not to mention communication skills. we all know that customer service in this country is an all but extinct art form ... but then, she missed the sweeping generalization of "all your servers suck" and instead pulls the race card. the RACE CARD?!? (no wonder her son is a comic genius)...-GoldenFlakeNYC
This was in reference to Chris Rock's mom suing Cracker Barrel for racial discrimination a la Big Al Sharpton's Action Network who appeared on Larry King Live last night or something or other.
"I take my purchase to the (Best Buy) checkout. There are two lines open. I pick the one that has only one person in line over the one with two people, including a man with a cart. As I get in line, the kid whose hourly rate barely covers his hair gel expense for the day, asks, "Are you paying with credit or debit?" I say, "Cash", and he's all, "I can only do credit or debit." I roll my eyes, and get in the other line, behind the guy with the cart."-Rachel
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS? How many times have you been to a store and been told the same thing? Holy Freaking Moses! It's called a "CASH" register bizitches!
"'The cuss in customer service? What a clever girl you are, Hedy.' No, not so much. Somebody else thought of it way before it popped into my sorry little brain last night. I love the Internet. It’s a great way to find out if you are Truly Brilliant or merely Sad, Average and Late."-Hedy
From here on out everything on the internet is to be divided into two categories: "Truly Brilliant" and "Sad, Average and Late." At this rate, we'll protect ourselves by saying that we're truly brilliant at being sad, average and late, and therefore belong in the former category by default.
In closing, we leave you with this recipe:
"Sometimes recipes are difficult. Like soufflé or that funny pineapple thing your mom used to make that you just can't ever seem to get right. But sometimes, recipes are simple. Insanely simple.
For instance: How to create Customer Service.
1. Take a Customer
2. Provide them with Service.
Now, I'll give you that it isn't called Customer Great Service. It isn't even called Customer Good Service. But it's one of those dishes that just implies that the Customer will somehow be happy with the Service, or why would the Customer bother to be a party to it at all?
In the last week I have had the joyous opportunity to be a part of this "Customer Service" dish three times. Once with my credit card company's automated hell, and twice with the local satellite television company.
I did my part...I provided the Customer. A rather nice cut of Customer if I do say so myself. I'm reasonable, personable, patient. Put me on hold? Sure! Second day on the job? Oh I understand! I'm like the flexible version of Customer. Customer Lite, if you will. Until you make the mistake of doing one or more of the following:
1. Take a position as a telephone representative and decide that you do not have to speak clearly, or use english or wait for me to respond to a question before cutting me off.
2. Fail to follow through with commitments. Like, oh...I don't know- showing up?!
3. Apologize for the weak ass attempt at following through and promise to better serve me in the future and then fail AGAIN?!
4. Take "the tone". You know. That tone of voice where you realize they would just as soon dump you down the side of a cliff as deal with you yet you're still here so they'll just talk down to you instead. "Just one moment Ma'am".
These additives are simply unnecessary and really can ruin what might be a damn fine dish. If you'll notice, when these ingredients are added, they tend to turn the Customer cranky, frustrated and sort of ass-chewing.
So if y'all should suddenly find yourself thrown into the kitchen whippin up a little Customer Service and it starts to go sour, just remember this: Without the Customer, there is no pay day."-WinterWish